Sunny Sunday Afternoon...

It’s a sunny Sunday afternoon on a 25-hour day (thanks to daylight savings!) and it feels like near bliss. The past few weeks have been quite crazy, with schoolwork and racing towards deadlines. My course load this term is a bit heavier, and there are other activities outside of school going on that I am really glad to be part of. It all makes it fly by rather quickly though. That’s why I’m grateful for a sunny Sunday afternoon and the sound of birds and the vibrant colours of fall and the smell of banana bread in the oven.

Part of the excitement this past week was celebrating my birthday. I love birthdays! It’s a time of year when I reflect on the friendships in my life and I am almost overwhelmed! I celebrated a Moroccan lunch with friends last weekend, and had chai tea and chocolate cake with more friends from school. I loved reading messages from everyone back in SA, and I’m getting super excited to visit over Christmas.

I’ve recently come across a few quotes I thought I’d share:

“To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all” - Oscar Wilde

“There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle” - Albert Einstein

“The most wasted of all days is one without laughter” - E.E. Cummings

“Earth's crammed with heaven... but only he who sees, takes off his shoes” - Elizabeth Barrett Browning, Aurora Leigh

 “True beauty springs from the heart and dwells in the eyes” - Judith McNaught

One year in

Wow - It’s been a year! August 21^st marked a year in Vancouver, and it feels as though it has gone so quickly, although a whole lot has happened. Recently I volunteered to be part of a panel of students who were part of the orientation for new international students. We were asked a number of questions and I have found reflecting on these to be quite helpful in putting words to my experience so very far away from South Africa.

One thing I found quite challenging was that I was always comparing every experience to South Africa… we would say this or do it like that in South Africa. I soon realised that of course I was comparing it to SA – it’s the only frame of reference I have. Apart from the occasional holiday or outreach, I had lived my whole life in SA before coming here. I’ve learnt to embrace and to share the memories or different ways of doing things. In coming here I’ve also realised how much Afrikaans terminology I borrow on a daily basis. There just isn’t a suitable English equivalent to saying I’m lus for something, or gooi when referring to cooking. And the English versions of lekker slap or slim koppie just don’t cut it!

I was asked how I have dealt with homesickness… In the very beginning I was too excited to explore and discover that I didn’t have much chance to be homesick. Over the spring/summer (May-August) things have slowed down a little and I have had more time to think about home and miss people and places. I think it’s normal, but I think about people in SA just about on a daily basis… ok not everyone every day, but often for sure. There really is a tension between engaging with people here and back in SA. God has answered my prayer before coming here – He made more space in my heart for more people. What I didn’t think before making friends here (and now it’s too late) is that wherever I live in the future I will be missing someone! One way I have coped with homesickness, apart from the odd email or facebook interactions, is by inviting people here into my SA experience – indulging in the memories, paging through photos, and I recently organised a braai with real boerewors! It was a.w.e.s.o.m.e!

What do I have to say on the academic expectations? The bottom line is “you can do it!” While it is a lot of work, and sometimes all at the same time – depending on deadlines, and how disciplined you are during the term – it’s not difficult. Challenging? Yes. Tedious? At times. But difficult? No. I guess the rainy weather helps when you have to read this huge textbook and write a 3000 word paper on some or other topic. In fact, I am very glad to have been forced to read some of those fat books… they are brilliant, but without a looming deadline, I would never get past the first 10 pages.

One word to summarise my experience so far? Invitation. My whole time here has been an invitation to grow in knowledge and relationships. It’s been an invitation to establish new habits and get rid of old ones. Yes, it’s been both scary and exciting, but it has to be or there is no place for faith. I am super excited to see what the next year could possibly hold :)

It’s been a while…

Summer has been awesome… and it’s not over yet! I really enjoy being a full-time holiday maker in between the busy terms of being a student! It’s been my first “Summer Holidays” and now I get why it is such a big deal in the movies. 4 months of “holidays”! Luckily I didn’t have all that time off… I would have gone quite crazy. I took 2 spring/summer courses, although they have a different feel about them, a bit more casual than the classes during term. Actually, I just finished the last exam for one today… now I am truly on holiday! I also was blessed with a job organizing summer activities and making new people feel welcome… a great way to meet people, keep busy over July especially, and earn some income.

But summer has also been about adventure! I have been able to do so many things! It probably started with a camping trip near Squamish to celebrate my one roommate’s birthday weekend. We spent a whole day by a gorgeous lake, and hiking. I also camped in a friend’s back yard near Victoria on Vancouver Island this past week! It’s such a beautiful city with flowers everywhere. Two friends and I explored downtown together, taking a ride in a water taxi, and eating ice cream on Fisherman’s Wharf. We stayed up suuuper late one night to watch the sky for shooting stars… and we saw quite a number as it was a meteor shower. Absolutely stunning!

Vancouver hosts a fireworks competition every year, and so on three evenings in July-August, we got to watch a spectacular show to music. There’s something great about hanging out on the beach with wonderful people! A week or two ago, I realised that I had spent 6 days in a row hanging out on the beach. That’s one great thing about this beautiful city.

I have missed home a lot (I now have two places I consider home) and think about friends and family daily. I realised a big mistake a bit too late… since moving to Canada, I am in a huge predicament, because wherever I live in the world from now on, I will be missing somebody special. At the moment I am looking forward to returning to SA for a visit… dates yet to be decided, but hopefully soon.

What else have I done this summer? I’ve learnt a new piano piece, and intend to start learning another one tomorrow. And sometime this week I will be painting my bedroom. Yes, purple! (Why not? J) I’ve been biking all over, and building jigsaw puzzles. I’ve baked a whole lot and picked blackberries. I’ve read many books and played songs on repeat for hours. The Lord has been good to me. And in response I will live fully and thank Him for each new day. I am so excited for where He is taking us next.

Mowing the Lawn

Our new housemate moves in tomorrow, and his chore will be to mow the lawn. It was kinda long already, so I decided to mow it today, so that he would not have to do it first thing upon moving in. I don’t have a lot of experience in this department. I might have pushed our mower two or three lengths as a child, but I probably got out of it most of the time as I do not really recall it. My dad was tasked with this chore, until my brother was old enough. Steven was born to be a gardener / farmer / outdoorsman. It’s in his blood. (That doesn’t exactly explain how it is not in my blood. I don’t even have one green finger.)

Mowing the lawn today was a brave decision, as my only memorable encounter with a lawn mower was not favourable. I was mowing College House lawn in 2005. The extension cable was not quite long enough. Actually, it was 2 extensions joined together, and in the furthest corner of the lawn, the cable would stretch to its ultimate length and the join would come undone. That was too much for a hot and sweaty teenager already in a bad mood. I don’t remember exactly, but somehow I became “garden leader,” and I think I delegated that task for the rest of the year.

Since moving here, I have been introduced (from a distance) to our neighbour’s wireless lawn mower. The sharp blades whir and somehow do the job. It seemed almost primitive compared to the electric versions I grew up with, but it is the more popular kind here. It worked alright, plus the lawns in Vancouver are much smaller than the gardens in the suburbs of South Africa. Not too long ago our house was spoiled with the gift of an electric lawnmower from a nearby neighbour who was moving away. Haha, leagues ahead of any old-fashioned mowing machine!

With the determination to replace a bad mowing memory, and a brand new extension that could reach even further than the edges of our lawn, I set about it. You would think a left-brained person would have a plan and a rectilinear grid for going about it, but alas, my approach was more like a sine-curve art-piece than a straight line. That’s alright, I told myself, the job is being done, and I have the pleasure of massacring the remaining dandelions in the process! All was going well until I mowed, not the lawn, but the cable. It was the absolute worst thing that could happen. Just before beginning, I had made a joking comment about trying not to mow the cable. What a disaster! I tried not to get mad at myself, but eventually dissolved into tears in front of my empathetic house mates. I’m ok now. Sometimes a good cry clears my perspective and I can see how it’s not the worst thing in the world. I actually finished the rest of the lawn with another cable – it’s patchy but I did it. Needless to say, after today, the lawn mower and I have agreed to disagree.

A new love, a new evil

Spring in Vancouver has been an adventure so far! One thing I really appreciate about this city is that there are four distinct seasons. With the change of seasons come some changes in routine. For example, I’ve survived 24 days on a bike in Vancouver! Because I’m not registered for enough credits in Spring, I don’t have a bus pass for the months of May & June. How incredible that my friend who is away for the Summer, offered to lend me her bike! It has special memories - her mom used to ride it when she was about our age J It has a basket in front, and I’ve added a colourful bell that I’ve named Sunshine. Sometimes I chat to Sunshine; other times Sunshine has witnessed me laugh with glee as I speed downhill. I always used to say I enjoy cycling… downhill! Conversely, the up-hills have become an enemy to conquer. I notice the rise in difficulty with even the slightest incline.  And then when I get home I somehow have to get back up the stairs…What really helped was the day I discovered the gears! On Wednesday I decided to go grocery shopping by bike. I got home alive, although I would not go so far as to say safely. Note to self: remember a backpack next time! It will save you from overloading the front basket and endangering the steering. That’s a slightly exaggerated peek into life on a bike. I am truly grateful for it, for the fresh air, and the exercise.

Speaking of fresh air, I’ve spent a lot of time in our garden lately. I used to feel like a day of gardening would be such a waste of a day (which is why my mom was so surprised when she heard what I’d been doing.) I have a new appreciation of creation and matter and physical things since taking a few classes at Regent. These things matter! I actually really enjoyed a whole day outside. Most of it was weeding with one of my house mates. I’ve found that with this new-found appreciation of gardening comes a new evil: dandelions! Pretty and fun to blow - yes, but they will infest any patch of ground, and they’re so difficult to get rid of. If I ever decide to chop their heads off again before they open, I’ll take care to chuck them away carefully… I didn’t last time, and they opened anyway!

One more delight in this season is that it’s light out late. The sky eventually darkens just after 9pm. There is something poetic about summer days stretching on endlessly. There’s room to breathe deeply and sigh with content. It throws my bedtime a bit, making for very short “evenings,” but why not? I’ll take every minute of daylight nature offers.

all things real

I found a poem I wrote in August 2010... funny how you can write something, forget it, and then rediscover it with delight :)

all things real

 

the strings of faith connect the possible with impossibility on the guitar of life.

every strum produces a striking ineffable sound that resonates within the dreamer,

but the most daring dreams don’t scratch the surface of destiny.

how could one know the most intricate detail that is sown into every day?

 

the artist’s strokes depict beauty, but inevitably omit a myriad of detail:

life teeming below crystal waters, every colour a fractal, a story,

great adventure behind still scenic mountains.

 

beyond the realm of all things natural

the call of the crowned one beats a riveting rhythm that cannot be silenced.

fierce desire surpasses emotion and covers shame.

 

a little child brings a lifeless sparrow, a cold body in warm hands,

tears to punctuate the sad expression.

so it feels to approach the Great One, any offering a simple worthless whisper,

any monument a distant memory and shameful.

 

but a father is concerned with small joys and sorrows.

he places the bird to the side and reaches to pick up the child.

Warmth and comfort ensue. Being and belonging.

Present reality transformed into beauty and fullness and hope and life

and far more than can be imagined by a little sparrow in the warm hands of love.

 

Food for Thought

Wow, it’s been a fantastic term. I finished up exams last week and we celebrated with a dinner and dance, aptly named “L’Chaim,” which is Hebrew for “To Life”! Right now it’s Spring in Vancouver. The weather is enviable, although a little cold still at times. The tulips and cherry trees and magnolias make for magnificent scenery to and from the bus stop. I have decided to review one of the courses I took this term: Christian Thought and Culture II. We focussed on a different topic each week. Here are some of the questions I am left with, and some books I found intriguing on some of the topics (I have not read every chapter). I haven’t included every topic, not mentioned my Profs. If you’re interested in more detail or resources, leave me a comment (or email me if you know me) and I’ll get back to you sometime J

Calling and Vocation: More and more I am discovering that being human is foremost grounded in relationship – to God, and to others and creation. I used to wonder whether all the aborted babies had a calling or not; either way would seem cruel. But if calling is about relationship and not tasks, then God is great indeed. My on-going question: what does it mean to be human? Book (although not explicitly tied with this lecture): After you believe, by NT Wright.

The Enlightenment in the 18^th century, and the “eclipse of the biblical narrative” ever since (to quote Hans Frei). How can I better integrate what we have called “secular” and “spiritual”?

Evangelicalism, with its emphasis on a personal individual relationship with God (which if taken to the extreme negates the role of the church community); the rise of a celebrity culture (which may tempt us to be closed to learning or hearing from God through the “normal” or “lesser” people around us); and the role of emotions during a conversion or worship experience (which could cause us to assume that things are only going well if we feel good). I am most grateful to have grown up in the wake of Evangelicalism, but am also learning to be aware of its weaknesses. How can I worship and live in community, in all sorts of emotional states? I’m looking forward to reading Desiring the Kingdom, by James Smith.

Theology & Politics: How our Theology inherently affects the way my actions and the way I treat people. I’m investigating what I truly believe about God, which affects what exists (ontology), what can be known (epistemology), and how I live (politics/ethics). If I really believe that people are made in the image of God, then I would treat every person like that. My question – what do I believe, and where are there inconsistencies that show I need to change something?

Romanticism as a corrective to the Enlightenment: a focus on feelings and beauty, resulting out of the over-focus on reason and facts and empirical experimentation. Our society seems very “left-brained” (to use McGilchrist’s analogy): structured, productive, mechanical, impersonal. How can I bring in more “right brain-ness” in the way I live? I need to find ways of incorporating beauty, appreciating food when I eat, indulging in the senses. Do I live as though I need to have everything under control? Where do I leave room for mystery? What can I give when I (go to church/ go for a walk / enter into a friendship), as opposed to what I can get? Book (yet to read): The Master and His Emissary: The Divided Brain and the Making of the Western World, by Iain McGilchrist.

Creation and Evolution: This is still a difficult topic for many and I’m not sure what I believe. My questions include: what kind of information was the bible meant to give us? – probably not scientific information, considering it also speaks of the four corners of the earth. What does it mean to be made in the image of God? – for this separates humanity from animal life.

Catholics and Evangelicals: I have enjoyed learning more about Catholicism, and seeing how much overlap there is with Evangelicalism. Sure, there are points that are seemingly irreconcilable, but I wonder what will happen to these in future generations? What can I learn and incorporate from the Catholic Faith? Excellent article: Is the Reformation over [particularly the bits about Evangelicals and Catholics Together (ECT)], by Noll and Nystrom.

Christianity as a World Religion: What of the gospel message we know is essential, and what is cloaked in a particular culture and can be adapted in various cultures in different ways? What can I learn from African / Asian / Russian / Western / Eastern Christianity? How much of this needs to be intellectually thought through, and how much of it is about a personal encounter with people from different cultures, and their encounters with God?

Sexuality: Hot topics at the moment include women’s roles in the church, and homosexuality. How much of my Christianity is about what I can get, instead of Jesus’ example of self-sacrifice? Not so much about which roles are appropriate, but what does it mean to be female (as part of the question of what it means to be human). Along with that, what does it mean to be single? How can I love others well (male and female) in a culture that tends to sexualize almost every relationship?

Biotechnology and Genetic Engineering: so much is possible these days. We saw a photo of a luminous green rabbit – Eduardo Kac inserted a jellyfish gene and called it art. Where is the line when it comes to playing with genes and DNA? Is it okay to tamper with animals – and humans – like that? What about Cloning, In Vitro Fertilization, stem cell research, prenatal screening, luminescent humans? When should we say no to our “unquenchable curiosity”? (Edwin Hui)

 

Beaches and Bagels

I invented a new word a few mornings ago: "gawjus." It’s just like “gorgeous,” only it’s more. It was a cold but sunny morning, and I had walked down to the beach. I can still picture the blue, blue sea, a surprising contrast to the muddied water of a windy yesterday. I now know what lies behind the simile of a sea like glass. I have not seen waves higher than about 0,5m, but they lap at the shore consistently, bringing treasures such as shells and driftwood and seaweed. To the right I see the tall buildings of downtown, strutting their stuff in the sunlight, proud. On the water before me I count 13 ships, and I am reminded of Grandpa who would eagerly beckon us each morning to the window of his harbour view, to count. Imagining the stories of each vessel makes for a fascinating exercise of the imagination. And these 13 stories and mine somehow overlap on the blue, blue waters of West Canada.

I fear I am becoming Canadian. In this regard, I could probably lump Canadians and North Americans together (but don’t ever tell that to a North American!): I ate a bagel for lunch. In fact, I have two whole packets of bagels in my freezer, waiting to be devoured with cream cheese or something luscious. Before coming here, I didn’t really even know what a bagel was. I have since discovered that the breaded donut-shape-thing comes in multiple flavours. Ooh, even thinking about cinnamon raisin makes my mouth water. I suppose, if I were truly to become Canadian, I would have to eat a bagel for breakfast. Not long afterwards, I found myself putting in my South African flag earrings. Just to be sure.

You know you're in Canada when...

(Alternatively, this blog posting could be entitled: “You know you’re not in South Africa when…”)

…you leave your mobile phone at school and when you look for it the next day someone has turned it in for you.

…you have unlimited internet.
…you can buy a gallon of milk (such a huge bottle!)
…you can buy a gallon of milk for a single-digit dollar amount.
…the government phases out the penny and the stores round your total up instead of down.
…the cars stop for you if you possibly look like you’re approaching the street to cross.
…people remind you that you have an accent.
 
Two of the biggest differences I’ve noticed being here:
…the weather. I miss hot hot days and heavy rain and thunderstorms.
…the safety. Not that I ever felt scared in South Africa, but it’s nice not to have to be vigilant all the time.
 
The things I love most about being here:
…being a student. This is because it includes the freedom of deciding my own schedule and the process of learning about stuff and researching interesting topics.
…the community, both at school and at church. A tightknit inclusive group of people who are genuine in their love for each other, and willing to step out of our comfort zones to extend that care to others.
…my home. My room is a welcome place to rest and be me; our house is a haven and the birthplace of many a great initiative and conversation; my homies are serious about becoming the best people we can be, and about embracing the lighter side of life.
…the outdoors. From tree-lined streets, to parks and the beach, to the mountains and the woods with tall tall trees, to crisp cool days and moss-covered trees.

The things I miss most about South Africa:

…the people I love. I think about them way more often than they know. I am so grateful, not only for where I am right now, but for where I have come from.
…driving! I didn’t think I’d say this, but I’d love to get behind the wheel of a stick-geared car and just drive!!!
…like I said earlier, hot hot days and thunderstorms.
…Afrikaans. Is it weird to talk to myself at times?!!
…Ouma’s Rusks. Mmmm. Especially on a Saturday morning.

How fortunate I am, to be able to call two places “home.”

Pause...

Already a month into Term 2. Time is passing quickly.
I pause and think of some things I am grateful for:
Friends near me now
Friends far away
The love of family
A sunny window in my room
Chocolate chip cookies
A restful afternoon
The opportunity to study
An awesome job
The diversity of people
A warm comfy bed
Fairy lights
Beautiful music
Photographs of treasured memories
The ability to read
God’s intricate involvement in my life
That I don’t have to be perfect
Kind people
A warm coat on a cold day
Worldwide communication
The talents I have
A beautiful city
Shared laughter
People who have walked the road ahead of me
The full range of emotions
The freedom to be myself
Opportunities to have fun
The sound of birds outside
Beautiful little crocuses
Bright green moss on knobbly trees
The sound of water
Juicy oranges
The smile of a stranger
That floating feeling of hope
The glory of God in every day
Comfortable clothing
Colourful days

We believe

We believe that God is present
in the darkness before dawn;
in the waiting and uncertainty
where fear and courage join hands,
conflict and caring link arms,
and the sun rises over barbed wire.
We believe in a with-us God
who sits down in our midst
to share our humanity.
We affirm a faith that takes us beyond
the safe place: into action, into vulnerability
and into the street.
We commit ourselves to work for change
and to put ourselves on the line;
to bear responsibility, take risks,
live powerfully and face humiliations
to stand with those on the edge;
to choose life and be used by the Spirit
for God’s new community of hope.
Amen.
Iona Abbey Worship Book © 2001 The Iona Community

Real Canadian Winter

The life of a student is possibly one of the best! Just a few classes, and an essay every now and then (I'm downplaying it just a bit. It's tough to have to read hundreds of pages when you'd rather be outdoors; and the crunch at the end of semesters is quite exhausting!) But the perks include staying up as late as I like and sleeping late on the days without morning classes. There are fewer responsibilities and the consequences affect only me. Friends abound, and the scheduled holiday breaks are awesome!

This December I got to experience a Real Canadian Winter with my family. I'm talking snow everywhere and temperatures down to about minus 20C. It was so cold at one point, the vapor on the insides of the car windows froze! (And yes, I spelled vapor without a "u") I suppose winter could be more extreme. We didn't get stuck in a blizzard or anything like that!

The best part about this holiday? Seeing my dad, mom, and brother. We shared three weeks exploring Canada, playing scrabble, watching movies, going for walks, skiing, hot tubbing, and trying out some traditional eats and drinks. (Some worked out better than others!)

Thanks dad for such an awesome holiday, for skiing and Nordic skiing, for your massages, and for drinking egg nog :) Thanks mom for driving, for all the organizing, for yummy food, for whistling all sorts of tunes, and for playing Pictionary with me! Thanks boet for 'irritating' me and allowing me to irritate you, for scrabble and thrashing us a few times, and for sharing your caramel chocolate! Missed you sister; but here's to some time together soon!

All in all, you know it's a good break when you're ready and excited for the next term of school :) Here I come!